On Having a Haunted Heart — Gordon Marino in the New York Times

Gordon Marino has written a fascinating and moving piece for the New York Times Opinionator as part of their Anxiety series about his experiences dealing with heart problems and the deep sense of foreboding that they often carry with them. Marino writes:

“I was given a stress test. I stood atop a treadmill in a darkish room, tethered to a full metal jacket of monitors and wires, and started walking . There were two nurses. Stupid half jokes and nervous laughter floated up. So far my chest was quiet. Kierkegaard, the first philosopher to attack the problem of anxiety, described it as a kind of foreboding. As I padded along and they ramped up the speed and elevation, the foreboding was there. Something was following me. Jocular and stoic as I tried to be, I was desperately hoping that the paramedics wouldn’t let me know if they saw anything — but I could feel it coming. Then one nurse, gruff and near retirement, finger toward the monitor, loudly whispered to the other, “There’s something here.” That was it for me.”

He is currently editing The Quotable Kierkegaard for the Princeton University Press. You can read his compelling piece here.